Midnight Sun (Twilight, #1.5)
You guys, I'm not sure what exactly possessed me to download this book, but I did. And then I read it. And then I made my roommate drive me to the video store to get the first Twilight movie because it wasn't streaming on Netflix. I just suddenly needed to watch it. It's like, the rational part of my brain understands that it's bad, but it hits this weird pleasure center somewhere deep in there that's just going wheeeeeee, while the other 95% of my brain is going ARE YOU SERIOUS.
Anyway, this one was even worse than the other four, because it is completely unnecessary. We did not ever need to see Edward's side of the story. It is gratuitous. It is a DVD extra. It is officially sanctioned and author-written fanfiction. Plus also Stephenie Meyer totally threw a temper tantrum about it and refused to finish it, which is hilarious for a bunch of other reasons . . . and yet I still read it. And I apologize to you in advance -- you and the ghost of Walt Whitman -- for what I am about to say, but it's like that one time when he was totally on drugs and wrote about how it's natural for human beings to hold contradicting ideas at the same time in their heads. That's the only explanation I can find for my behavior. I despise Twilight, yet I continually seek it out. So yes,I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.